Are you still hurting?

The fact that I return to this blog only when I feel down disturbs me. But this is the only space I allow myself to be vulnerable. And yes, it still hurts for me all this time.

It's insane that I can't get over it. I went to a mall today, 1000kms away from where I used to be, yet it feels like the one we frequently went to. The cabs back home passed the highway and all I can think about is our night ride. I held you tight that night.

Why am I still hurting? Why am I the one left struggling?

Probably because it's Coldplay on my playlist. Probably because I cannot replace the feeling of being wanted that you gave me. No one wants me that way, until you.

Turns out that you didn't want me that much either. Oh pardon my foolishness. I was young.

But there were days when I wish my life stopped at the certain moment when I was with you. I don't want it to continue, it will only lead me to an end.